My first Esbat

I remember telling a friend that I was going to start doing rituals with the changing phases of the moon, as lately I've been feeling disconnected with natural cycles of things and felt a need to get back on track.

Well, I did it, which in itself surprises me. I could have done one for the August new moon, but I didn't feel prepared for it and had no idea what kind of ritual I would do anyway. I ended up browsing some websites and found one at http://blessedbe.sugarbane.com/fullmoons.htm which offers some basic information on Wicca along with nice ritual formats.

The ritual itself wasn't anything terribly complex, and another reason I felt compelled to do one is that there would be a purpose for the energy raised. A friend of mine is crafting a leather case for my Tarot deck (it's the Robin Wood version, if you were curious), and so in return I'm making an alter paten/pentacle for her, woodburning the desired design into a pine disc. Since I just got all my materials together, and it's something for ritual use, I felt it proper to ask for some blessing so that this turns out well.

Thankfully this ritual had a list of materials needed; as I was at my parents' house at the time, I quietly gathered up what I could: a bit of red wine was easily available, and for cakes I used almonds; tied some dried grass seed-stalks together for a broom, found a small "wand" made of a fallen branch from the silver maple out back. Still not sure what I think about the matches not lighting though... three strike-anywhere kitchen matches that didn't light from anything, so I ended up holding the candles and charging them with energy rather than lighting them. I skipped having one candle per quarter because of that as well.

For north and earth, I had a dish of small stones collected from the playground of my elementary school back in the day. For east and air, a crow feather and a small narrow vase that held a stick of incense (not lit, unfortunately), while for south I just had a plate of candles from the Girl Scout camp my sister and I know and love. (Some were tea candles, some were hand-dipped in different colors.) For west and water, I placed a piece of white coral-stone I had brought back from Hawaii to remind me of the ocean.

When it came time to charge each of these quarters' items, the energies did feel different to me. Water was smooth, yielding, and gentle, Earth was very strong and firm, Fire needed coaxing as nothing was actually burning, and Air seemed neither here nor there, which makes sense I suppose.

When calling on the God and Goddess, I did think of them as Freyr and Freyja, and I think They approved.
or at least they didn't mind.

After casting the circle and calling quarters and raising energy, I then asked the Gods to guide my hand and bless the materials I'm using to craft the paten. It seemed fitting, and went along well with how the ritual format suggested thanking the Gods for something good and asking for guidance with a problem before ending the rite.

It was just as well that I held the ritual at midnight, though I would have liked to have done it outdoors: the night was clear and bright, and the moon's light was strong enough to read by. as it was, my parents were sound asleep and my cat only needed one squirt from my buddy the squirbottle in order to settle down halfway through.

All in all, I'm happy with how it went and how easy it was to put together even in a place where I didn't have access to all my various tools and toys. It was also a lovely way to reconnect with the moon's phases since I feel like I've been getting out of touch with moon-rhythms; the Big Eight are no problem since I celebrate those with my proto-grove, but this seems more personal. It feels like I'm supposed to do this myself, and all the success or lack that happens is entirely from my own effort.

It'll be interesting to see how the next ritual goes. I plan on doing one for the new moon, and banishing laziness will definitely be in order as the fall semester begins soon.

Finding a way

I've been reading many of the old posts that the Catskin Sisters have written, and it boggles my mind that what starts as simple meditations can turn into such journeys! I mean, it sounds like a fantasy story that you're living, right now, in your mind and in the Otherlands.

This is really exciting!

For the longest time (like many I'm sure) I have had trouble doing even a weekly meditation. Granted, I did do daily meditation for a while, but then life got in the way and I never established it as a habit. Now, it seems like sitting there for a few minutes thinking of nothing is kind of a waste of time. Yet as I read of the Sisters' journeys, I find I'm jealous. How do they do it? Why can't I go on Journeys too?

Despite my admittedly childish approach to it all, I believe I've found something that will help me to focus.

This website offers free downloadable guided meditations! Be warned: don't go around looking for some sketchy program that offers to convert your .ram files for you--just get RealPlayer if you don't already have it.

I started out with a short one, focusing on relaxation and a safe place. Although the image I chose to focus on was one of waterfalls and lush green growth, I ended up visualizing somewhere with a shallow creek with sand and rocks, and some prairie too. Looks like the safe place I need to be is closer to home than I thought.

I really hope I remember to do one of these meditations every week if not daily. I'm pushing myself to exercise on my own as well too, so maybe doing them together will help me to not forget doing one or the other.
Eventually I hope to find my fylgia, my fetch, a companion to Journey with in strange and wonderful places. Even that, I feel, would be a huge step in the right direction.

I've finally starting writing things down for the DP. Starting simple, with the holidays. I suppose I can do the altar planning one too, as I just rearranged it recently. Things around me tend to accumulate junk or random bits of stuff, and the altar is no exception. Bits of wax, pine needles, lots of acorns... now it boasts a pretty pottery candle-holder I found at Savers of all places.




On a more personal note;
it's strange how you can miss someone when two weeks ago you felt like you couldn't take much more of them.
My boyfriend is studying abroad for a month-long language intensive so he can be done with one major's requirements (he has two, which is a story in and of itself) and graduate a little sooner.

What happened now seems fairly obvious--nothing like some distance and time apart to put things in perspective, right?--that we spend the majority of our time with each other, and it was that which was slowly driving us nuts. All those little things that sneak their way under your skin were getting unbearable lately. We just couldn't leave each other alone. I ended up feeling criticized more than I felt was fair, we were both worn out from the long bus rides between our respective residences, and his jokes were just getting so old!

I was happy to see him to the airport, and the first week felt like a real vacation even though I was the one staying home.
Now...
well, his internet is rather limited, and half the time I don't know what to do with all my spare time (I've never been one to schedule my every minute as it is) so we end up thinking "shit. now what?"

or at least I do.

You look for one thing, and find another

Just read this post on The Ditzy Druid, and finally got around to giving Thor the stout I promised him for helping me out a few weeks ago.
Also having recently discovered this amazing blog written by some seidh-sisters here in the Midwest, I decided to get a little more of my spiritual act together and do some gorram meditating.
Lit candles, new stick of incense, offered the stout, and ended up donning the crow mask I had made a couple years ago for a quick Halloween costume to try my hand at spirit-walking.

I think I'm going about beginning the right way--or at least, a way that kind of works--by perching on the edge of my seat and assuming a bird-like pose while holding the sound of cawing crows in my mind. It was hard to picture things clearly, but I think I was able to hop around the branches of a tree a bit (no idea if it was the tree outside my apartment or some otherworldly Tree).

Suddenly a sound came through the open windows, and something in me knew enough to get alert.

Turns out a couple guys were knocking on the door. As my room is situated right above the front door and I happen to be house manager here, I was able to ask them out my window if they needed anything. Turns out they're college students looking for rooms to rent; I offered a house tour.

* * *

Well, I guess in lieu of spirit-work, it was back to convincing folk that our house is a good place to rent a room. 'Twas nice to meet those guys though. They seemed good folk, and it'll be good to have the house full up at last.

I think this means the Gods are happy enough with me for now. If anything, I'd say that was Thor's way of giving a pat on the back and saying, "well, it's all right. Now go do your stuff!"

Why yes, I do have a camera

It's not often that my thoughts turn to Frigga. It seems odd that I wouldn't have much to do with Odin's wife, given that I have some skill in housekeeping--I can bake bread and mop floors and can be fairly crafty with my hands when I feel it. Though I suppose some part of me equates her with simple housewifery, which I have long objected to; my daydreams were always of wild adventure, not sedately setting out the evening meal and then darning socks until bedtime.
I suppose if anyone had a connection to her, it would be my mother. She's a bit quiet, and seems very normal, but you should see her sewing room. Swatches of colored fabric hang on the walls, and totes of cloth (organized by color of course) have taken over half the basement! Even though Dad is the master chef of the household, Mom can still whip up a batch of bars or a cake like there's nothing to it. And of course she does her share (the lion's share in some cases) when it comes to keeping things clean--the cats run before her when she wields the vacuum.

But she's a lawyer too. This quiet little person went to college, studied hard, got mostly A's and B's, and then when right on into law school.
The story goes that when grandpa (my dad's dad) met my mother, he asked what she wanted to do with her life. She told him she was going to go to law school, and he laughed right there. Now, so many years later, she's been working for the state as an administrative law judge and no one thinks anything of it.
You go, Mom.

* * * *

Some years ago, Dad made a drop spindle in his workshop. It's a sweet thing, the weight is solid cherry and the handle a dowel. A simple bent nail is what catches the fibers and induces spin, creating yarn.


I've been sticking with plain, undyed wool roving for spinning, picking up a bag every so often when money or Mom allows. The yarn is rather thick, since this is my first batch and I'd rather keep the thickness relatively uniform. If I made or acquired a smaller spindle (or ever got enough of this to make into something), I know I can spin thinner stuff and that would be my next project.
*If you want to see some nice fine yarn, Grey Catsidhe at The Ditzy Druid posted a little while ago with her first spinning! It's a nice little batch, and I'm thankful I'm not the only person interested in something so odd and old-fashioned as spinning.


Someday, I do want to dye it. I even got a book on natural dyestuffs and how to use them for Yule a couple years ago, so I'm excited to see how the recipes will turn out! If only I knew what color to choose...


Any ideas of what to make homespun yarn into? I can knit and crochet, but I'm afraid I'll never make enough to actually knit anything more than, say, one mitten. I don't spin very often either... perhaps now I'll have more time for it.

never out of style

So help me, I'm old-fashioned.

Borrowed from "Confessions of a Kitchen Witch", with permission.

No flavor more exemplifies these days of High Summer than a fresh pesto.

I don't mean the green glop you see spooned onto limp pasta and over-cooked salmon, however. Real pesto is nothing more than a big bunch of fresh, fiercely aromatic basil leaves chopped fine with minced raw garlic and then drizzled with enough extra virgin olive oil to pull everything together. Some fresh-grated Parmesan or Romano cheese adds another intense flavor to the mix, making your plain old anything a meal to remember.

Your local farmer's market is probably the best bet for fresh basil, both for price, quantity, and quality--I got a huge bunch for a buck!

And really, you don't need a blender. I find that for many things in the kitchen, good knife skills will make up for a lack of appliances. A mortar and pestle is a good way to go as well, if you like a smoother sauce (mine is far too small for most practical cookery), and you can show off your impressive arm muscles to friends afterwards ;)

The vibrant green of the basil perfectly complements the greenery all around, soaking up these long hours of sunshine and is one way to make summer intimately yours. It's a different way to experience the season: strong flavors not only taste great, but the basil and garlic are invigorating, bringing new strength to body and spirit. I'm no great shakes at herbalism (not yet, anyway), but I've read a little on elemental correspondences and herbs: namely, hot and cold and wet and dry. From what I recall, basil is hot and wet, nourishing with water while energizing at the same time. Combined with the heat of raw garlic, this makes for a potent potion!

It's easy for me to get caught up in something new and different, but I can only stand any food for so long. An easy solution (and great way to save a flavor of summer for colder months) is to freeze the pesto in little portions for later. *Leave out the cheese before you freeze! It doesn't really freeze well and tastes better fresh anyway.* Using an ice-cube tray lined with squares of plastic wrap or tinfoil is a great way to portion it out and keeps it from getting messy.

So bring out the basil and throw some veggies on the grill; open up a bottle of white wine and enjoy these summer days while we can.