Altars over time: Part 2

Despite calling this "Part 2", there were a couple steps between what was previously posted and my altar's current setup. That being said, here's the photo of ye olde altar at my new apartment:




I have added some dried sprays of leaves (oak and rowan) living in my tankard for the tree, a vase of dried flowers from this past autumn, Tarot cards, a drop spindle, an in-progress wand, and a hankie full of shavings from making the wand. It seemed better to save those shavings for a future spell or blessing of some sort than throwing them out.
There's also an oil warmer in the upper left, which currently has some scented wax that melts down and makes my room smell like clean laundry ^^ That scent and the white color remind me of spring.
Alas, I have no candle to place in the vine-carved holder, so for now it's helping to prop up one of the Tarot cards. I'm sure the right candle will come along eventually.
You might notice a bit of broken glass in the upper right corner... that used to be a seven-day candle and was part of my largest/most powerful spell-working to date. The glass is there as a reminder of the true power words can have and that every action has consequences, regardless of intentions. That particular spell may have served its purpose, but I must still learn to wield such power wisely and only in times of great need. (The other reason it's still there is I haven't gotten around to cleaning it up or replacing it with something else. Less noble, but just as true.)

Otherwise, most of the elements found on the altar's previous incarnation are still there, if moved or covered by something else at the moment. I think with the warming days and change of life, my altar will soon change again as well.

Altars over time: Part 1

I saw this thread on the ADF Ning site for a while now--basically a show-and-tell of personal altars and how they change and develop over time. Having finally dug out my camera, I can now start my own little story ^^


Going clockwise from lower left corner:
The white candle in the small tray is for the Ancestors, lit in remembrance of my family (both blood and spiritual). The two round brown things are buckeyes, which I picked up as a freshman on campus. I liked having them in my pocket just to run my fingers over (and later on noticed the resemblance to guy parts... but that's ok. Somehow I doubt Frey minds ^^).
The oil lamp in the upper left is reserved for the dark half of the year, which I define as when nights are longer than days. Since I got this all set up over a year ago in September or October, it wasn't quite the Fall Equinox by then, hence the oil lamp with (fake) yellow flowers in the lower right for the light half of the year. The oil lamps also serve as a kind of offering to the Alfs and Wights, earthen spirits. Back to the top center is a green candle (scented of kitchen herbs, as I recall) for both the Tree and the Gods. Its carved soapstone holder has a decorative vine motif which I thought fitting as well.
In the center is a green pair of chopsticks crossed with an Irish flute my aunt brought back for me from her trip to the Fair Isle. I can play a little, but I'm better with a recorder... generally, this one stays on the altar.
To the upper right are a mug which once held a vanilla-scented blue candle. It looked quite nice there, was another thing to light on fire (hehehe) and I had a vague hope of burning out all the wax in order to use the mug. Haven't gotten that last bit out of the bottom yet though...
And the tray next to that holds some looseleaf chai tea that I'd rather keep and use as incense than throw away after spilling it.
The very center is the offering bowl, where bits of food, flowers, and small burnables go.

At the time I had this setup, I was living in a different apartment than I am now. Back then I was able to bury my offerings in a corner of the backyard and scrub out the offering bowl with soil. It was also easier to light candles and incense more often, and I was able to smudge with a sage stick when needed.

Whew. If you read this far, congrats! ^^
Next week: new apartment and new setup.

Unexpected, yet welcome change

With all the stress and bs my guy and I have been going through lately, I've noticed that the lack of physical activity is having an effect on my waistline.

Related to this is the fact that due to differing opinions and stress, S. has decided that he's done with everything dojo. Given that it was such a huge part of his life before this, it really saddens me that he's willing to throw it all out the door over a poorly salvaged talk. It doesn't help that he's taking this whole thing extremely seriously and personally, and as such can be very pessimistic sometimes... I just hope things will turn out all right and he will decide that maybe dojo isn't worth just throwing away.

That being said, we've stopped going to dojo on Tuesday and Wednesday nights these past couple of weeks and dangit, I had to do something. Since S. has a class that runs pretty dang late on Mondays, I decided that tonight I would haul my sorry behind up to the local university gymnasium and spend some time working out.
I did have some misgivings about it, especially when I was home looking for suitable clothes to bring along. yet something in me said "You know what? Just go there and do it." I'm not quite sure where that little voice came from, but I'm extremely grateful it came when it did!

I started out on a stair machine for 25 minutes, and then did some reps on a couple different machines for upper body strength interspersed with my almost-regular set of sit-ups. I think I spent about 45 minutes there, and by the end I was feeling energetic and confident (both qualities which have been sadly lacking lately). This is good, and I intend it to continue--along with Tuesday nights at the dojo, hopefully I can stay in better shape and keep on feeling like at least something is working out as it should.

Seeing the silver lining

With all the snow we've been having, it's amazing that I see next to nothing as far as snowmen, igloos, etc. around here. You'd think a college campus would have some more creative artwork around here... which is why I bugged out of work early on Friday to make one.
Although I don't have a picture for you at the moment, what I made is an homage to this (click photo to see the whole thing):















:)

(Calvin and Hobbes are copyrighted to Bill Watterson, of course!)

Toadstools and butterflies

So I'm at work right now, and I have recently discovered that the cure for my recent boredom with the daily routine is a healthy dose of Keats. In particular, his Ode to Psyche and the subsequent reading of Psyche and Eros' myth has really lifted my spirits.

Although I've been in a very nice and stable relationship with my current guy for over a year now, these past couple days I've been in an incredible funk. School isn't going as smoothly as I'd like (I have to take two physics courses and a "career planning course" before they let me graduate--meaning I'm taking an introductory physics course this summer. Have I mentioned that I don't like physics?), I have a court date coming up soon, I have to go buy ink to print out everything I need for said court date, and I really don't like being poor anymore. Granted, I can afford rent and food... but that's it. I'm really itching to get a job and do something useful with my time rather than prepare for being useful...

But as I look over my mushroom pictures and try to identify these varied specimens to species, I wandered over to Wikipedia to see what I could see. And lo, there upon the page stood a link to the Odes written by Keates, whereupon I did click that link of cerulean shade and wast transported into a faery-realm, little brooks hidden in the forest shade burbling quietly by.

Wow. it's been far too long since I've been exposed to good poetry. ^^

So please please please read up on Keats' Odes, and read the story of Psyche and Eros so we can discuss it! It's so romantic and sweet and amazing that a story such as this hasn't made it to the big screen--I'd *love* a movie or animated feature of it. I wonder what Hayao Miyazaki could do with it... ~giggle~
No really, it's a story where they fall it love and it *works*. There's trials and heartache but the happy ending leaves me thinking of butterflies (which are associated with dear Psyche anyway); so light and beautiful and heartlifting.
I've been getting so cynical lately... this is the fresh air I needed.

a good hurt

well, I guess going to dojo is working out pretty well so far... the guys there are nudging me to work harder so I can get to the next rank (in this case, green belt). I'm pretty happy to hear that--it's encouraging to know that if I work hard enough I can do it ^^ Though this is going to mean not landing on my wrists during falls anymore... and a host of other things, too. Though I think the bruises will be worth it.
Yesterday, we went to sword class and were surprised to find folks there to practice with! One of the black-belts (D.) is just getting into sword, and the other we normally practice with has bad joints, so bad enough weather means he might not show, but he did. J. (dojo leader) also was there, and we practiced some new kata from a friend who trains in Japan in a different sword style than we normally do.

Maybe I should explain what I mean when I say "sword class". When we do 'sword', we are practicing kenjutsu (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenjutsu), which is using a katana (full-size curved Japanese sword, often called "samurai swords") to cut and stab at imaginary opponents. Other flavors of this include iaido, the art of drawing smoothly, and iaijutsu. The difference between a -do and a -jutsu practice is that "do" translates to "way" or "path", and is more an art form that arose from the practical dispatching of enemies that a -jutsu more closely resembles.

Confused yet? ;)

Anyway, we put on hakama (http://web.mit.edu/jpnet/kimono/gifs/man-hakama.gif), which in this picture are the stripey pants (ours are black). Yes, they are pants--heavily pleated and wide-legged, and then the sword goes under the obi (wide belt) worn just underneath. The swords we use are usually iai (hence iai-do and iai-jutsu), which are blunted katana used for practice. Sometimes folks bring their cutting blades to practice on sheets of paper, but that's not very often.

On a related note, I suspect Tyr has been poking at me lately.

In addition to increased martial arts practice, things have come to a point where I have a court hearing soon: hopefully I can convince the judge that there's sufficient evidence to warrant the restraining order I applied for a couple weeks ago. I won't get into too much detail here, but with the combination of justice and martial aspects increasing in my life... I need His help.
And in order to get that, I need to develop a better relationship with Him. I really haven't had much of one with Him in the past, but I think maybe They think I'm ready for one. Considering that in the past I mostly revere the Vanir--Nerthus, Njord, Freyr, Freyja, Heimdall--this marks a big change in my life.

I've always thought of the Vanir as more earthy, primal, and defensive Gods, while the Aesir are more closely related to society and human things, like law, war, marriage, and all the ties of relationships (be they business, friends, enemies, colleagues, etc.). So I guess I'm growing up, as I become introduced to and better able to handle such adult tasks as conducting my own legal affairs and graduating from college and getting the proverbial "real" job.

This too hurts, though--going through such messy things as getting a restraining order instead of being able to resolve the issue peacefully and leaving my childhood behind for good in a way... it's hard to let go. Yet as this all happens, I'm finding that my potential is shining through and that dangit, I'm *capable*. These challenges are what I need to grow (there's Nauthiz again!) and realize my limits as I do.

Life is what happens when you're making other plans

In short, change is difficult.

Then again, I'm at a bit of a crux; winter break is ending and a new semester at college beginning, so I'll be busy finding textbooks, going to class, and re-organizing my schedule to handle new classes, different work hours, what I'm even doing at my job, dojo, and somehow find time to still hang with friends and not turn into a hermit :P
I guess I just have to take things as they come.
Granted, this is usually how I run and it's served me well. I like having rather flexible plans, since it means if one thing doesn't work out my day is not ruined (see post title lol). The downside is that I tend to let some things slide, especially if I'm trying to start a new habit. I read somewhere that it takes a month for a given behavior to become a fixed habit, but I still have trouble adding something like doing so many sit-ups to my schedule so that I do them automatically. It takes a lot of prodding from others for me to remember and then do it... and somehow I keep relating this to the rune nauthiz.

As a (generally) Norse/Germanic-centered Pagan, I've found that studying the Elder Futhark has been both fun and informative. (however, like my Tarot deck, I turn to them when I really need guidance and/or answers to existential questions. Read that as "not often".) It's interesting to see how the runes apply to my life. In this case, nauthiz or "need-fire" seems to manifest in my ability or lack thereof to be a self-starter on whatever projects need done.
Nauthiz, the "n" rune, represents the fire within us that burns when we most need its power and is often likened to the bow-drill method of starting fire; all the friction generating heat and the life-giving flame when we most need fire to survive.
In my case, I tend to be most energetic and efficient when something absolutely needs to happen (otherwise I don't work at my full potential). For instance, when there's an emergency I'm up and at the ready and I feel like I'm doing something worth every second of my time and energy. in other cases, I procrastinate, take things easy and work at my own pace.
Maybe this means I should be a firefighter or something... in some kind of position where my help is needed and they need it now. It's how I feel most useful, I guess. Plus I admit that getting to be the hero for once gives a great boost to my self-esteem and ego.
Which reminds me...

When I was very young, there was this boy living next door that I would sometimes play with. I liked going to his backyard, since it was much larger than ours and had a big trampoline too. Well, B. was a couple years older than I, and once when we were playing he was bouncing all over the backyard fighting imaginary monsters and "saving" me, the princess. After a while I got bored sitting around and felt that it wasn't fair for me to just sit around while he did all the fun stuff. I then walked up to him, told him so and asked why I couldn't save him sometimes too.
He said it was his rules and if I wasn't going to play by his rules then we wouldn't be friends anymore.
I said fine, and left.
We didn't play again after that, and I haven't heard much of him since.

So I guess the point of all this is that yes, I'm contrary, and I like to think I'm good in a pinch. Hopefully I'll actually be able to start doing things like meditating and sit-ups more regularly this semester and still keep my grades up. Balance will be good.